There are elements of this information age I find convenient, such as automatically saved writing, online resources, streaming movies, YouTube, CNN 10. I’m not sure that I overall like accessing information and entertainment on the computer more than I would from VHS tapes, DVDs, magazines, t.v., CDs, albums, tapes, books. For years of my life I lived without screens and would be fine doing so again. With all that, Back in my day… aside, there are a couple of websites I love, namely Facebook and TikTok. I share thoughts on the inspiration and consolation they’ve provided me, particularly TikTok, since it’ll soon be banned.
I briefly researched privacy issues related to TikTok and China accessing information of Americans. I understand the concerns. I am myself concerned with many related issues, including many of our legislators seeming to lack basic understanding of how the internet works; AI stealing and bastardizing art in all its glorious human-created forms, and our government or big companies accessing our personal information. I am barely one-step removed from 1950’s-style worries over wiretapping and, in that context, am uncomfortable with much of this stuff. But this post isn’t one of my reporter-esque investigations. I’m not speaking of Social Media in the context of law or big brother. My being on Facebook and TikTok demands some suspension of disbelief by me to be comfortable sans privacy concerns. While I see the irony in my spending lavish time on these sites as I do, they serve valuable functions in my life.
I started on Facebook primarily to share cute kid pics with a widespread family. Facebook became a way to stay connected with people far away, reconnect with old friends, and learn about what is happening within my circles, particularly in local poetry and music. As an increasing number of family and friends leave Facebook, including a couple of my favorite posters, my feed becomes less robust. Still though, there are plenty of people whose thoughts, news, and art I’m happy to see on my feed. Some people note that Facebook is full of complaints. Some, that it’s full of arguments. Neither is the case on my feed, at least rarely. It’s overall a happy place.
Lately, in addition to posting news about events and periodically sharing quotes or whatnot, Facebook enables me to look up from my personal work, comment, and go back to it, as I might if I were parallel working with someone. It’s quite satisfying. I can count on a few of the usual suspects to react or reply, which makes me smile. It’s not vital, but reassuring nonetheless.
At times, TikTok has felt vital to me. I came to TikTok late. Outside of my kids showing me funny videos (Road Work Ahead “I sure hope it does”), I had no interest until April of 2023. I don’t remember why I installed the app. A friend loves it, listens to it every night; it helps her fall asleep. I suppose she inspired me, since she’s smart, creative, worth following. And at that time, I was fairly glum.
I had a hard time with my 20-year-old being away for the first time at college, as I always knew I would. I know it’s something to be glad for, and I was, but it was still hard. My 14-year-old (at the time) was starring in an adult, too-depressing play, which was also hard for me. And I was coping with those months newly more alone than I’d been in 20 over years. I firmly believe there’s great value in being alone, especially when it’s hard; facing oneself by oneself. And I often rise to that challenge. But sometimes — oh, distraction is nice. TikTok initially provided that, but over the next several months it became invaluable. I might go so far as to say that TikTok offered me a roadmap to perspectives and skills I needed to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
I’ve flippantly said to friends that I get my therapy through TikTok. Here’s what I mean — I learned psychological constructs, particularly in patterns of behavior around relationships, and tools toward self-improvement, mainly through presentations of different systems of thought, in palatable ways on TikTok. I’m not one to look for self-help or pop psychology, but there’s such a dynamic overlap of ideas on TikTok. I may hear a vignette about communication failings in a relationship, followed by a Tibetan monk talking about happiness, followed by an original song offering poignant social commentary, followed by one of our more lucid politicians, followed by a series of philosophical quotes, followed by some charming dance routine... The way themes are revisited over time through a range of voices with varied perspectives and shuffled with all types of art and thought have delighted me. Sometimes they offer an introduction that has me leave TikTok for a deep dive. Sometimes a video models behavior for something valuable to me in a way that strengthens my daily practice.
My understanding of both Buddhism and Taoism, two systems of thought I’ve researched before, has been enriched by TikTok. Also, I think, outside of practice and necessity, TikTok has been the greatest influence in my improving my ability to control my thoughts and to stay in the moment.
I’ll let my 16-year-old read this post in a little bit. I can just hear it, “You and your doom scrolling… Dopamine hit… Brainrot.” I know some of that can be true. I remember Devious Licks and similar challenges. I get that Social Media can be harmful for a bunch of reasons. Some people say that Social Media increases loneliness. All of that, at times, I’m sure is valid. But in my singular experience, social media has been a comfort and a tool for expansion.
I’ve spent some time on TikTok over the past week trying to find some of my favorite presenters on other platforms. But I’m in a very different place than I was in Spring of 2023. I scroll less these days and am sure I’ll be fine without TikTok. I’m not sure, however, that I’d have gotten to such a good place without TikTok and I will miss it.
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