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Writer's pictureKristin Kowalski Ferragut

Liner Notes -- Lay Myself Down In My Home

Verse 1


I looked for home in other people

Searched lost souls for a needle

in between truth and betrayal


I misplaced faith, forgave, forgot

Held on tight to the end of rope

‘Till I lost hope and swam away


Chorus:


Now I see shimmer of light

Past the simmer of smoke I’d ride

In younger days now so far away  

Now I know you can’t tell me what is right

Share your pretty lies, I’ll just nod and leave

And lay myself down in my home


Verse 2


The sun was just a crescent

The bird squalls iridescent

In the present I called a truce


The moon sang “You can rest in me,

Until you learn to believe”

relief in the dusky sky


Chorus:

Now I see shimmer of light

Past the simmer of smoke I’d ride

In younger days now so far away  

Now I know you can’t tell me what is right

Share your pretty lies, I’ll just nod and leave

And lay myself down in my home


Verse 3


A kaleidoscope behind closed  eyes

Warmed by fire of tender mind

When I’m lonesome,  I find nerve


I can’t believe what you say  

Made some peace with yesterday

now I’m alright alone


Chorus:


Now I see shimmer of light

Past the simmer of smoke I’d ride

In younger days now so far away  

Now I know you can’t tell me what is right

Share your pretty lies, I’ll just nod and leave

And lay myself down in my home

And lay myself down in my home



I drafted this song in April, initially motivated by a discussion with a dear friend. She asked me about challenges I face in the concept of home, and was delighted to receive a response she had not heard before. I developed much of the song to explore my evolving perspectives on home.

The second verse was wholly inspired by April's solar eclipse. That was such a gorgeous day -- my kid and I at the river by Riley's Lock. We shared our eclipse glasses with a group of loud guys having a cookout, they shared their meal. I'm grateful for this song mostly for capturing images of that day for me.

What I like most about the video is how my smile lights up when my kid walks into the kitchen. I realize I sped up the song. I think they wanted to cook and so I wanted that for them.

Last weekend I spent all day Sunday wrestling with songwriting. I had an idea that didn't work, so I pivoted, then pivoted again. I ended up with a chorus, I thought potentially likable, comparing a love interest to tortilla soup. When my kid came in the kitchen that evening I performed it for them and asked if it was stupid. "Not too stupid." ha! I shelved it, to edit three older songs instead, including this one.






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